First loves never fade

August 1, 2010

You remember yours, don’t you? The first book or series that got you excited, the television programme that introduced you to SF, the first play/actor that you really, really noticed. The beginning was great. The object of your adoration could do no wrong, and you had an appetite for it that could never be sated. He/she/it/ was nothing less than distilled genius. You studied it for hours: speculating, analyzing, and talking the ear off anyone who’d stand still. It was infatuation. It was bliss.

Then time passed.

Perhaps you simply grew older. Perhaps the books went out of print, or the show went off-air. For whatever reason, you were parted from your love. Until technology, chance, or nostalgia afforded you a reunion. And guess what? With the mists of adoration dissolved by time, you noticed things you hadn’t before. Like that author’s constant use of cliches. Or the cheap-o special effects that a monkey with a sparkler could’ve handled better. The fire dimmed, what once was genius now looked a little… silly (gasp! choke! horror!).

And yet for all of that, the love remains.  

First loves have a special place in our hearts. I still adore mine: Andromeda, a relatively obscure Canadian sci-fi show that I watched when I was 9. It’s a big part of the reason I’m into SF today. Years later, I see that the special effects aren’t that great The beautiful, epic storyline was abandoned midway through the series for episodic, largely non-sensical adventures. Plus, the dialogue often makes me cry in a torturous mix of amusement and despair.

But it was my first love. For all that I now laugh at it, rather than with  it (it has its humorous moments, for sure), that love remains. I will proudly say that I own the entire series, and it retains the power to send me into the throes of nerd-ecstasy faster than anything else.

Honestly, I’m not quite sure why this is. Why do our first loves leave such an imprint on our hearts? I can only assume it’s because there was something there that resonated so deeply within us, all the cynicism and jadedness in the world couldn’t stop us feeling it. With Andromeda, it was the characters that got me. Starships and gunfights and aliens are cool and all, but it was those characters that kept me glued to the screen. Sure, it’s got flaws, but it doesn’t matter. Once something hooks you, you’re hooked. Love, as they say, is blind.

If you can, go spend some time with your beloved. You’ll be much happier for it.

Winging it and loving it,



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