Vampires, Zombies, and Werewolves: A Comparison

November 17, 2010

For centuries, one question has haunted humanity (no pun intended). Namely, which is coolest: vampires, zombies, or werewolves?

To assist in answering that question, I have compiled a series of charts and images. Let’s begin with the first chart. The creature deemed “coolest” in each category has been marked with a check.*

*The conclusions below were reached by independent authorities at Intergalactic Writers Inc. That is to say, I’ve had a fair amount of caffeine and sugar. Feel free to disagree with these findings.

Vampires: 3, Zombies: 2, Werewolves: 2

Not conclusive enough for my tastes. Here are some pretty pictures:

A hard choice, but I think the werewolf wins. For those of you keeping score, that makes it:

Vampires: 3

Zombies: 2

Werewolves: 3

Therefore: another tie-breaker!

(the cut-off portions read: Zombies in “Dawn of the Dead” and “The Beast of Gevaudan”)

Vampires: 6, Zombies: 3, Werewolves: 5

Conclusive results! It seems vampires are coolest by a nose, followed by werewolves, with zombies bringing up the rear.

However, I will interject that I personally prefer werewolves, so I’ll give them the moral victory, if not the scientific one.

Besides, we can’t forget the coolest monster of all…





  1. Zombies all the way!

  2. Your math is a bit off (should be 3~2~2 after Round 1) . . . but your humor is spot on. :/

    That said, Nessie is indeed the coolest!

    “Ach, mon, it’s the loch mon…”

    • Oops! This is why I shouldn’t rush things out after consuming large quantities of caffeine and sugar. Thanks for pointing it out; I’ll fix it… thank goodness I’m not a math major. πŸ˜›

    • I attributed the slight miscalculation to the sugar and caffeine mentioned in paragraph 3. πŸ™‚

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