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Vampires, Zombies, and Werewolves: A Comparison

November 17, 2010

For centuries, one question has haunted humanity (no pun intended). Namely, which is coolest: vampires, zombies, or werewolves?

To assist in answering that question, I have compiled a series of charts and images. Let’s begin with the first chart. The creature deemed “coolest” in each category has been marked with a check.*

*The conclusions below were reached by independent authorities at Intergalactic Writers Inc. That is to say, I’ve had a fair amount of caffeine and sugar. Feel free to disagree with these findings.

Vampires: 3, Zombies: 2, Werewolves: 2

Not conclusive enough for my tastes. Here are some pretty pictures:

A hard choice, but I think the werewolf wins. For those of you keeping score, that makes it:

Vampires: 3

Zombies: 2

Werewolves: 3

Therefore: another tie-breaker!

(the cut-off portions read: Zombies in “Dawn of the Dead” and “The Beast of Gevaudan”)

Vampires: 6, Zombies: 3, Werewolves: 5

Conclusive results! It seems vampires are coolest by a nose, followed by werewolves, with zombies bringing up the rear.

However, I will interject that I personally prefer werewolves, so I’ll give them the moral victory, if not the scientific one.

Besides, we can’t forget the coolest monster of all…

Nessie!

-Arvik

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4 comments

  1. Zombies all the way!


  2. Your math is a bit off (should be 3~2~2 after Round 1) . . . but your humor is spot on. :/

    That said, Nessie is indeed the coolest!

    “Ach, mon, it’s the loch mon…”


    • Oops! This is why I shouldn’t rush things out after consuming large quantities of caffeine and sugar. Thanks for pointing it out; I’ll fix it… thank goodness I’m not a math major. πŸ˜›


    • I attributed the slight miscalculation to the sugar and caffeine mentioned in paragraph 3. πŸ™‚



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