This is because I read fantasy, isn’t it?

March 27, 2011

I’m a Snitch.

No, I don’t rat on people, or betray them. I’m not that kind of Snitch. Instead, I am a Golden Snitch, which is infinitely cooler. Yes, this kind of Golden Snitch:

Quidditch is, as it happens, a real sport. Admittedly, it’s been adapted for us Muggles, since we can’t fly (yet), but it is still a wickedly fun and intense game. And I am the Snitch. Quaffles and Bludgers are easy enough to translate to Muggle Quidditch- a volleyball and dodgeballs work well. But we can’t make a flying ball (yet).

International Quidditch Association

Hence, the human Snitch: a person dressed all in yellow, with a tennis ball in a tube sock hanging out of their shorts. The Seekers chase them, and catch them by grabbing their sock. Snitches, however, are balls, not people. As such, they are limited only by “legality and morality,” and can therefore leave the field (boundaries don’t apply to Snitches and Seekers), wrestle and/or tackle players, and engage in feats of mischief amongst the players and spectators.

Yep. That’s my job.

But I’m an elusive Snitch. While I have endurance, I much prefer hiding, and running from safe spot to safe spot. There is a certain thrill in it: in crouching against the wall or under bridges, your heart pounding, scanning the area for your pursuers. You feel like a hunted animal. And I love it. As I walk around in my day-to-day life, I mentally note possible hiding places. I check out the area before matches, planning escape routes. By this time, I have a whole network of hiding spots, spots where I can catch my breath, spots that are pretty well hidden but that I don’t entirely trust because of a lack of escape routes….

And then it hit me. In Snitching, in running and hiding from pursuers like my life depends on it (because, to a certain degree, it does), I’m living out countless fantasy and science fiction scenarios. Hiding from Black Riders, running from the evil army, dodging zombies and robots, you name it.

What’s more, this acute consciousness of escape routes and hiding spots seems to come so naturally. I’d always idly considered them, but now that there’s the a concrete purpose to it, the Snitch side of my brain won’t shut up. All the “What if vampires attacked? How would I get away?” mindgames now find themselves realized in real life. Well, not the vampires themselves, per se, but rather that chasing/fleeing motif.

Am I paranoid? Am I just a good Snitch? Or perhaps, does my brain run on fiction?




  1. I always wondered how they dealt with the Snitch issue, and now I know. I think you are well prepared for the adventure that awaits you, when you set off to save the world. I too would be a snitch, or perhaps a hobbit.

  2. That is because you read fantasy. Great post.

  3. Like Lisa, I wondered how they would create a snitch for Muggle Quidditch.

    Thanks for filling us in.

  4. Your brain runs on fiction? Good for you. That’s always been true about the best people.

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